Are You Qualified?

I was at a new massive playground the kids love. I was interacting with one of the fathers there and we got talking about our kids. He asked me which school my kids were going to. For some reason this comes up a lot out here and it’s easy to get tense, but heck, I’ve started a blog on the subject of educating my kids in an exciting and engaging way, so there is no reason for feeling guilty not sending my kids to the coolest schools in Rwanda. So, I told him, “We actually use the Montessori method at home”. He was extremely surprised and responded with “wow, that is a huge responsibility! I can’t imagine being able to do that. Are you a qualified Montessori instructor or something?”

So, at first, I was sucking it all in as a complement till I could read what he was really saying. “Are you sure you can do this….I mean, you have to be qualified right?” I wish I had all the words I have now in my head as I write this, but I honestly sputtered something about how we are looking at getting certified through Montessori in the next year or so. It was a lame attempt at justifying why I had my kids at home.

Not my coolest moment. Right afterward, I was talking to Jenn and I had the PERFECT response! It was so inspiring, uplifting, and well, 20 minutes late. Here was what came to my mind on the subject:

Intentional parents are intuitively equipped to meet the needs of their kids, and WE CAN

I put “intentional parents”, because if you aren’t paying attention to your child’s behaviors, moods, skills, and talents from the beginning, you aren’t any better than a stranger when it comes to teaching them. They may respect and love you, but when you try and teach them knew things, you will not be able to adapt it to their needs.

Most parents that Jenn and I interact with are very intentional. I’m guessing if you’re reading this that you are intentional or at least want to be. Intentional doesn’t always mean we are confident that we can do it on our own. Why not?

Jenn and I often take turns looking at how certain behaviors and mannerisms come from us. How the heck would a teacher (even if they had a PhD) know anything about that? Most times, they probably wouldn’t care.I know my son needs time for rough housing, I know Lily and Jack need outdoor time where they can explore, I know Jack is really sensitive to the feelings of others and feels a responsibility to defend other kids and his little sister sometimes; I know he likes working with his hands and pretending he is a different animal depending on the day.
I know a hundred other things about him simply because I know myself and I know Jenn. I know where he has been and the experiences he has had. I know why he doesn’t like people rubbing his head. I know the WHY behind a lot of his behaviors. I can tell when he is tired, hungry, scared, and when he is sick without him saying a word. It isn’t because I’m a genius, it’s because I spend a lot of time with him.

Going back to the father I was talking to, I learned an important lesson. He told me he puts his kids in school at 2 years old because of how fast-paced and competitive the world is today. I had a million thoughts racing and just ended up talking about something else. Epic fail again, but honestly, when your brain doesn’t work, it simply doesn’t work.

If I had a do-over, I would have said that is exactly why we teach our kids at home. Simple and powerful! I know. Thank you.

In the end, it was an important lesson for me to learn. I failed, but I think sometimes we really get the most information from our failures if we look at them the right way.

My feelings are that curious, intentional parents are more than adequately equipped to teach, or find the resources to help teach, their children if they are motivated to. There are times they will need to learn alongside their children and that’s a humbling experience. Parents may need to not only dive into math, English, foreign languages, biology, or playing (yes, I think most parents struggle with this and end up learning it from their kids), but we have to learn how to adapt information in a way so it is fun and digestible for kids. We have the background and knowledge about our kids that most teachers don’t have, so we can at least build on that. Parenting takes time and understanding, I have no problem if people feel like they simply don’t have the time because of work or some other commitments. Sometimes kids may not thrive in a home-school environment. Jenn and I have talked about how Jack is an extreme extrovert and loves other kids. We are flexible to the idea of letting him go to a school or simply getting more time with other kids in a more organized way to meet his needs.

I don’t agree that putting kids in school at an early age is going to make them more competitive in the world. In other blogs, I plan on explaining what I think makes kids successful in life, but when it comes down to it, I think that the core areas are learned at home and from parents (whether we are intentional about it or not).

How to resolve conflict
How to socialize
How to be a man or woman
Integrity
How to problem solving
Being positive
Resilience

Teachers will agree that it really isn’t their responsibility to teach these things to kids and yet, do we assume that by simply sending them to school they will be successful and prepared for life? Regardless of where formal education takes place parents hold this responsibility first and we must know that we can.